Needed
by cym70
Summary: The Crystal Gems make sure Amethyst knows she's loved after her fight with Jasper. (Spoilers for Crack the Whip)


Amethyst did her best to hold herself together for the rest of the day. She forced a smile for Garnet and Pearl, acted like reforming was no big deal, and chimed in with comments about how cool Stevonnie had been when Steven and Connie recounted their fight with Jasper.

But it hurt. Everything hurt.

She felt so _useless._

Amethyst was pretty sure the others still noticed something was wrong. Pearl was fussing more than usual, and Garnet kept looking at her throughout the evening and readjusting her visor with a frown.

"You're _sure_ you're alright?" Pearl asked as Steven started getting ready for bed. "You reformed so quickly, even for you."

"I'm fine, P," she replied tiredly. "Relax. Not everybody's gotta take weeks to come back."

"It sounded like you took quite a hit," Garnet said.

Amethyst's shoulders tensed. "Yeah, well, I'm fine," she muttered. She jumped down off the kitchen counter and headed for her room.

"Amethyst."

" _What?_ "

"Jasper said something to you," Garnet said, and Amethyst couldn't quite tell if it was a question or not. Either way, she was looking for Amethyst to elaborate, and that wasn't happening.

"Just random garbage," she muttered.

"Like what?" Pearl asked, eyes hardening.

"Just—Just Quartz junk. It doesn't matter." _I don't matter._

"Yes, it does." Garnet's voice was firm.

"No, it _doesn't._ "

"Amethyst—"

"It's nothing I didn't already know!" she snapped.

There was a sudden, awful silence between them.

"What did she say?" Pearl asked in a low, dangerous voice that Amethyst hadn't heard in quite a while.

"Nothing," Amethyst repeated, letting her hair fall forward enough to break eye contact. "I'm going to my room."

"Not yet," Garnet countered, intercepting her.

And she really just _couldn't do this right now._ She didn't want to answer questions or talk about how awful today ended up being or ruin Stevonnie's big moment because they'd been really great and Amethyst didn't want to put a damper on that.

Amethyst pushed Garnet's hand away, anger lacing through her and voice rising. "I told you, there's nothing to talk about! Just leave me alone and get back to searching for Jasper, it's not like you need me for that!"

"Ame—"

"You can all just quit pretending I'm not defective, I'll stay out of your way!"

"…Amethyst?" Steven peeked out of the bathroom, toothbrush still in hand.

She froze. "It's—It's fine," she said, the fight leaving her as she caught sight of his worried expression. "It's fine," she repeated dully. "I'm just…gonna sleep for a while."

Amethyst activated her door and disappeared inside before any of them could try to stop her.

 _You know you're already a failure._

Yeah. She did.

* * *

In the morning, Amethyst emerged from her room to find Steven waiting for her with an envelope in his hands.

"Good morning," he said with a hopeful smile. "Um, this…this is for you. From everybody."

Amethyst accepted the little package. "Thanks," she said, without much enthusiasm.

"Promise you'll read them all?" Steven asked.

"Yeah, okay." She put a small smile on and ruffled his hair. "Sorry I yelled."

"It's okay." He gave her a quick hug. "We just want you to feel better."

"Yeah. Thanks."

Amethyst didn't really want to stick around and run into everyone else, so she went out to the beach instead, envelope still tucked into her hand. It wasn't a very good idea, since the beach mostly just reminded her of yesterday, but…whatever. It wasn't like she could feel much worse.

She lay out in the sun for a while, trying to get her head to stop repeating all those nasty comments and failing miserably.

 _Then she had low standards._

Tears welled in her eyes and she pressed her palms to them angrily. Crying wouldn't help.

Eventually, she reached for the envelope, hoping for a distraction. In it, she found a handful of smaller, folded papers, each with her name placed on the front in different handwriting.

What…was this, exactly?

She opened up the one on top.

This first note was in Garnet's fancy, swoopy handwriting that never failed to make Amethyst do a double take. Her eyes skimmed the words curiously, throat feeling tight as she tried to process why exactly they had given this to her.

 _You have been and always will be an important part of this family and of the Crystal Gems, please don't doubt that. We all love you, Amethyst. -Garnet_

Oh. _Oh._ Amethyst's fingers tightened on the paper before she quickly set it aside and picked up the next one from the stack. This writing was familiar too, all elegant and precise.

 _Rose always said you're perfect the way you are, and the rest of us believe that too. We wouldn't be the same without you. You are valuable, not defective. -Pearl_

Leave it to Pearl to cut right to the heart of things. She should have expected as much; they'd always had more in common than either of them wanted to admit. Amethyst had a hard time tearing her eyes away from Rose's words, the same ones she'd repeated back to Jasper, only to be torn down.

No, she didn't want to think about that. Next.

 _Dear Amethyst, I once called you "the best gem here" and at the time I was still focused too much on your gem type. However, after further observation I have concluded that I was not wrong in making such a statement. Thank you for "hanging out" with me and showing me lots of cool friend things to do on Earth as part of the Shorty Squad. Sincerely, Peridot._

Were it not for the actual content of the note, Amethyst would have burst out laughing at the tacked-on formalities that started and ended the tiny letter. As it was, she was starting to feel a little overwhelmed. She checked to see how many notes were left. _Three?_ Who else was there? She picked up the next.

 _I don't know you that well, but I heard you were the one who saved me after Malachite unfused and the Cluster happened. So thank you. You seem pretty cool, and you're welcome to come by the barn to hang out if you want. Don't let Jasper get in your head. -Lapis_

Amethyst blinked down at the last sentence for a second, then snorted. Fusion joke, huh? She hadn't expected Lapis to have much of a sense of humor after everything she'd been through. Actually, she hadn't expected Lapis to take part in something like this at all, since she had her own issues to sort out, but she appreciated it.

That one had been easier to handle, which was a relief. She reached for the next.

 _Amethyst, I think yesterday was the first time I really got to spend time with you, and I had a lot of fun! Thank you for taking care of Steven and me; your advice really helped. I know you're feeling bad right now and words might not mean that much, but I just wanted to let you know you're really great and you shouldn't listen to people who don't know you. -Connie_

Amethyst gulped. Okay, she hadn't expected Connie to be a part of this whole little plan, but it was likely Steven's idea, so it wasn't that unusual. It was just… Connie actually thought Amethyst's advice _helped?_ She'd been taken down by Jasper so easily she figured the kid would write her off as all talk. Instead, she'd done the opposite.

There was only one note left, and there was no doubt who's that was. Amethyst's jaw set as she tried to steel herself for it.

 _Thanks for always looking out for me and keeping me safe, you're the best! (Well, it's actually a tie, but you're definitely in first place!) 3 I love you Amethyst 3 -Steven_

And it was his that did it of course, because he was _Steven_ and she'd sooner shatter than let him down. It was his that hit the hardest and removed whatever small piece of stubbornness that was keeping her from crying.

She didn't deserve this, she wasn't the best, she was small and weak and they didn't need her.

They _didn't._

The note crumpled a little as it was pressed between her hand and her gem.

None of this made any _sense_ , and yet she was overwhelmed with how genuine and caring each small note had been.

"Amethyst?" Pearl's voice called from a short distance away.

She ducked her head, shoving the papers into a small pile.

"Amethyst," she repeated, a little softer and a little closer. "Can we join you?"

"I don't wanna talk about what happened," she choked out.

"That's fine," Garnet said, the first to actually sit down beside her on the sand. She pressed a hand to Amethyst's shoulder, gem warm against her skin.

A moment later, Pearl was on the other side of her, slender hands curving securely around one of Amethyst's. Steven joined them too, wasting no time in climbing onto Amethyst's lap and wrapping his arms around her tightly.

And Amethyst wasn't really sure what to do, so she just stayed where she was and tried to do something about the messy tears that kept on falling.

"All that bad stuff Jasper was saying about you—that wasn't true," Steven told her.

"Certainly not," Pearl agreed.

"You're one of us," Garnet added softly. "And we need you."

Stupid future vision, able to predict what she wanted to hear most.

"You don't have to try and make me feel better," Amethyst muttered, voice breaking. "I—I'm just—"

"You're not _just_ anything," Pearl said firmly before she could finish. "You're Amethyst."

"We like you as _you_ ," Steven said, pulling away so he could see her face. "We don't hang out with you because of who you could be."

She sniffled, smearing away some of her tears. "That's copyright infringement, little guy."

"Just quoting the master."

Amethyst laughed shakily and ruffled his hair. "Yeah?"

"Yeah." He smiled. "Of course we need you, Amethyst. You don't have to change or anything."

"Exactly," Pearl said, smiling. "And next time, we'll all be together to fight Jasper."

"You take the lead when it happens," Garnet agreed. "Show her what you're really made of."

"Uh…hate to burst your bubble, G, but I don't think your lyrics quite work for me."

The fusion laughed a little and squeezed Amethyst's shoulder. "You're made of love too."

Amethyst's eyes burned a little and any quick response she'd meant to come up with vanished from her mind.

"Group hug," Steven decided, tugging Garnet and Pearl a little closer before pulling Amethyst into another embrace.

She ended up sandwiched tightly between the three of them, warm arms and hands all around her. And normally she'd complain and say she didn't need it, but she _did_ need it. She really, really needed it.

"Thanks, you guys," Amethyst whispered.

She wasn't quite sure how to love herself just yet, but they were doing a pretty good job of showing her.


End file.
